My last posting was Emma's story about "PomPom's Day," her writing assignment last week. This week, she was supposed to revise her story to make it more interesting--which is something that greatly offended her, since she of course believed that her story was perfect and needed no changes. I felt a little bad, but I pointed out that her sentences, while perfectly spelled and grammatically correct, with excellent punctuation, lacked punch. I got the typical Emma Scowl, but she gamely went back to the old drawing board and produced this, which I do think is a worthy improvement.
Again, if it's too hard to read because it's in pencil:
PomPom is golden. She is a pomeranian. She slept late. Then--her owner got up, and had toast and orange juice. Then her owner got dressed and gave her some wet food. Then they went for a walk around the block.
Much more descriptive.
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